McSweeney’s is unquestionably the funniest literary journal that I have come across. The publication is snarky, ironic, and hilarious, and the online archives of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency give the impression of being infinite. Which is great, because unfortunately I don’t have the budget for the actual print magazine, Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern; Issue 38 is currently available to pre-order for $55. So, whether you are eagerly awaiting the presently indeterminate release date of Issue 38 or lamenting the current state of your financial affairs, I would highly recommend checking out the extensive content available on McSweeney’s website.
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is novel and fun. It’s updated daily, which is impressive, and easily organized to lead you to recently published pieces, as well as those deemed most popular by readers. A great deal of material takes the form of columns, which I find is both a hilarious and genius concept for a literary magazine. It’s fun that McSweeney’s showcases a variety of quirky and novel concepts of literature. Columns range from the likes of “Non-Essential Mnemonics” and “Chris White Answers Profound Questions about the Presidents” to more serious concerns such as “The Spark that Set the Arab World on Fire: Dispatches from Post-Revolutionary Tunisia.” In many cases, columns are maintained as would be traditionally expected: one author maintains a series of dispatches. However, there are also other columns that anyone can submit to, including the popular categories “Lists” and “Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond.”
I think that encouraging writers to submit within certain column structures and guidelines is a creative and smart idea. Not only are the resulting columns funny and unique, but this submission mode also makes a lot of sense. In a way, the columns almost become like creative writing exercises: read some examples, write one of your own, and submit it. This seems like an ideal way to get readers and writers engaged, because there is just enough structure to minimize intimidation anxiety while not impeding creativity.
Some of the funniest columns are the ones that accept open submissions, because people have ideas that are equally crazy and great. “Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond” is an especially enjoyable category. For example, I find “An Open Letter to Walgreens,” by Joseph Andrew, fairly hilarious. In the card section: “There weren’t any animals wearing human clothes or doing other anthropomorphic things – you know people love seeing non-humans in human situations!” More commercial hardships occur while shampoo shopping:
"In the shampoo aisle, you were out of nearly every kind I use. To be fair, I don’t want shampoo that costs more than $2.50, I only like shampoo that is translucent (no solid whites or pale greens), and I would prefer to smell like a vacation, not a piece of produce. Still, cheap, clear and indecipherably fragrant shampoo is a common item, and you had none. Instead, you had something more expensive that I couldn’t see through and that smelled like coconut. How do I know? It was smeared all over every bottle of its kind. Thanks for that. Worse, I’ve already forgotten which pair of pants I was wearing when I wiped my hands off in my pockets, so now I am playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette every morning as I get dressed."
Even just perusing the titles of these columns is funny. How can you resist “An Open Letter to a Friend who Prolifically Sends me no Fewer than Four Stumbleupon Links a Day,” or “An Open Letter to Dove Heart-Shaped Valentine’s Chocolates That Feature Romance Tips From Martha Stewart.”
One minor disappointment is that the selections designated as “popular” on the site are not especially impressive to me. For example, I can completely understand why a piece titled “An Open Letter to the Gentleman Blow-Drying his Balls in the Gym Locker Room,” by Ross Beeley, has gotten a lot of reads. It is admittedly kind of funny, but also significantly overdrawn considering the subject matter. It starts out clever, but then goes overboard and ultimately drags on somewhat distastefully. I find “A Court-Ordered Letter from Dora the Explorer’s Mother,” by Joe Moe, guilty of the same. It’s unfortunate that these selections appear on the front page under the label “popular,” because I definitely don’t think that they are the best McSweeney’s has to offer.
“Lists” make up another column which is indulgently enjoyable, as these selections are short, funny, and addictive. They are exactly what you’d expect: clever “lists” with titles such as “Roles I Imagine I am Auditioning for When I shop at Whole Foods,” by Sloan Schang (personal favorite: “Office Worker Digging for the Cheapest Piece of Parmigiano Reggiano”), “Ingredients in Tositotos Hint of Lime Chips,” by Sarah Garb, and “Upcoming Urban Outfitters’ Books,” by Megan Amram. I like that McSweeney’s includes these somewhat guilty reading pleasures.
A somewhat more substantial column that I enjoy is “Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should go in Europe.” I’m a big fan of travel writing done well (i.e. Bill Bryson, not Elizabeth Gilbert). Although I know next to nothing about Kevin Dolgin besides the fact that he has clearly been to an obscene amount of places in Europe (and places not in Europe, as he also writes about Shanghai, Cambodia, Delhi, and Saigon), I really like his observant and witty commentary. I am favorably disposed to him from the time I read the first lines of “Malta’s Little Sister: Gozo”:
“No matter how small a country is, there are always regional differences. I find this fascinating. I can’t help but think that if two people got stranded on a deserted island and created their own country, within a few years they would have different accents, different cuisines, and would start telling derogatory jokes about each other (to themselves, I suppose).”
I also appreciate Dolgin’s anthropological discussion of Zagreb’s city-park culture:
“Just about any city park is bound to have its share of couples sitting on benches or lying in the grass making out, but I’m convinced Zagreb holds some kind of record when it comes to lip-wrestling … Why is it that people from Zagreb seem to engage in public-park petting more than people in other cultures? I asked this question of an acquaintance there, who seemed perplexed. ‘Don’t they do that in France, too?’ he asked. They do, but not to the same degree. He shrugged his shoulders. ‘We are passionate people,’ he replied. ‘And maybe we have fewer hotels than Paris.’"
Although I should probably say more about McSweeney’s more serious columns, I can’t resist first mentioning a relatively new addition to the line-up, entitled “Dispatches from Civil War Reenactments,” by Ben Shattuck. Apparently this summer marks the 150th anniversary of The Civil War, which, if you are a Civil War reenactor, is probably a big deal. The column’s author, Ben Shattuck, is spending the summer with the Massachusetts 22nd Volunteer Infantry, so McSweeney’s is really providing a gem of a primary source. Here’s some valuable advice for aspiring reenactors, taken from Shattuck’s first letter home (click here to see a very authentic visual, including a detailed image of the letter’s now broken wax seal):
"Of dying in battle, I learned that you don’t die early and facing up, or you will get a sunburn on your face that will hurt the whole weekend. Of when to die, Captain Brown, the handsome, square-jawed officer of the 22nd who works at Duxbury Historical Society, said that when a canon fires at you, you go down – or when a reb stares you in the eye and shoots – you go down too.”
Anyways, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency also features a number of more serious columns which are fittingly less delightfully indulgent, but nonetheless satisfyingly intelligent and genuine. I find these columns compelling – which I know is a term mentioned in the list of irritating and meaningless book reviewer clichés recently shared by Alex, but I still like it – because they are emotionally rich and intellectually entertaining. By this point, most of us have read about the Arab Spring and War in Afghanistan to death, so the fact that these columns make you feel interested and invested in the subject matter is an accomplishment.
I’m impressed by the variety of topics, tones, styles, and formats presented in McSweeney’s. Although at a quick glance the site appears to be mostly dominated by humor and novelty pieces, there are actually a large number of political and cultural analyses and commentaries which are extremely worthwhile. One last recommendation is the column “Balls Out: A Column on being Transgendered,” which provides one of the most candid and genuine perspectives on this subject and experiences that I have read. Overall, I think McSweeney’s is great. I wish I could afford the print quarterly, but in the meantime, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency has a lot to offer.
